Expert Q & A Answers About Sex Therapy

I have spina bifida and epilepsy. My medications are known to lower libido. Is there a test to find out if mine is lowered?

I’m a man who was born with spinabifida, and I developed temporal lobe epilepsy at the age of 10. I’m in my late 30s now, and I don’t have a lot of interest in I’m reluctant to start relationships. I have been taking medication for epilepsy for the last 15 years, but I just found out that it can contribute to a low libido. How would I know if I have a low libido? Is there a way to test it? Just know this for sure would increase my confidence in relating to the opposite sex.

Why can’t I have an orgasm with sex?

For some reason, my partner – whom I love a lot and who I think is unbelievably sexy – can’t make me cum. Actually, no one has ever been able to make me cum...I always have to rub myself to finish me. Why? And can I do anything about it? I have no problem going for 4+ hours because I just don't feel any extreme pleasure. I've also noticed all of the things I've gotten from women don't feel good. The experience is sexy, but the feeling just isn’t there...can you help?

Is his porn addiction destroying our marriage?

I’m trying to understood my husband’s need for pornography. I never reject his advances and I often initiate sex, and sometimes we watch porn together to enhance our sex life. But, although he tries to hide it, he appears to "need" to watch porn and masturbate on his own, and he always needs to fantasize about others joining us in order to climax during our sexual encounters. I want him to want me alone and to love me during our encounters. Why is he incapable of joining love and sex and understanding my need for it? I know he loves me and we’ve been together for more than 15 years.