Expert Q & A Answers About

For people who get out of breath easily, what are some ways to still enjoy sex?

I would like to know the easiest, least strenuous sexual positions for a man with emphysema so that he doesn’t get too out of breath. It’s been more than three years and it’s getting frustrating to both of us.

Is it okay to ask my partner to do things my attendant would usually do?

If I'm totally frank about what works for me, sexually, it involves asking my partner to do things for me that are normally performed by an attendant. Isn’t that too imposing, too much to expect?

How do I convince potential non-disabled partners that I can enjoy sexual activity?

The most satisfactory sexual experiences I've had are with other people with disabilities. That's fine, but how can I convince potential non-disabled partners that I have a libido and a responsive body?

I can’t use my can I become more active in sexual positioning?

I can't use my arms to position myself because of my disability, so I feel locked into a very passive role. I hate asking my partner to make all the moves. How can I become more active in the relationship myself?

My partner’s spinal chord injury makes me feel self-conscious...what are some ways we can bring equal pleasure into the bedroom?

I'm very attracted to a man with a spinal cord injury, but when we've tried to be intimate, I find that I'm very self-conscious because the focus is more on my pleasure than his. I'm used to there being an obvious sign of a man's arousal (erection) and I feel awkward being the only one who appears to be aroused.

I can’t lift my legs...what are some different ways my husband and I can increase our pleasure?

I have multiple sclerosis and use a walker. I cannot lift my legs over or behind my husband when in the missionary position, and this limits my pleasure. How can I accommodate my husband and increase our pleasure?

Is a surrogate partner right for me?

I'm 36, and I’ve been a C2-3 quad for the last 15 years. In that time, I've never had a relationship. I feel so incredibly sexually frustrated I can hardly stand it anymore! I would like to meet a woman but I don't have much confidence and I have a poor self body image. I have a colostomy, a mucous trap and an indwelling catheter. Do you think a surrogate partner could help and how do I go about hiring one?

I’m a quad woman and I’ve only been able to have an orgasm from manual stimulation. Am I missing something?

I’m a woman and – due to muscular dystrophy – I’m a quadriplegic who uses a ventilator. I’ve also had a hysterectomy. Both of these changes came before I started sexual activity…so I can’t compare “before” and “after.” I’ve only ever had an orgasm from manual stimulation instead of intercourse. That’s great, but am I missing something?

I’m a C5 quad and my girlfriend wants me to stimulate her that safe?

I’m a male C5 quad, and I like to perform oral sex on my female partner. She enjoys it, but after prolonged stimulation of her clitoris, she says it gets numb and orgasm is harder to reach. She wants me to stimulate her anus to give her clitoris a rest. Is this harmful?

My boyfriend is a quad. When I give him head, we leave his indwelling catheter that safe?

I’m a healthy 46-year-old woman. My boyfriend is a 47-year-old quad. After being together a year, we’ve found many ways to be sexually intimate with each other...even though he can't have sexual intercourse. One of the things he enjoys is my giving him head. He has an indwelling catheter, which we usually leave in. Can I contract any infections from doing this? I'm concerned because he has frequent bladder infections.