Anonymous on August 29, 2011

Is it normal for me to have heavy vaginal discharge when I’m with my attractive friend?

I'm an 18-year-old girl and I find that I have heavier vaginal discharge every time I'm around my friend. We do kiss, but I seem to get excited just being around her. We could just be sitting there doing nothing, and I feel like I’m excreting vaginal fluid. I'm really embarrassed because I've never been in a relationship before. Is this normal? Or do I some kind of disorder or disease?

answered by Annette Fuglsang Owens, MD, PhD on August 29, 2011

Thank you for trusting us with your very personal concern. First, let me assure you that your body’s response to someone you’re attracted to is completely normal.

When a person is around someone they’re attracted to, they can become sexually excited or aroused. And as the female body becomes aroused, one of the first things that happens is an increase in vaginal fluid (getting wet, turned on).This is the body’s way of preparing for sex, but sometimes just being around a person you’re attracted to is enough to cause this response.

The vagina creates a natural lubricant (what you might be experiencing as discharge) that would make sex more comfortable and enjoyable. Even though you’re just kissing right now, your body’s response is sexual arousal. Along with added vaginal lubricant, women also often notice that their nipples harden and/or that they develop slightly rosy cheeks.

It sounds as though you’re beginning to experiment sexually by kissing. Should you both decide to progress your sexual relationship further, I encourage you to visit your gynecologist for an exam, and to talk about safer sex.

Regarding safer sex…

When two women participate in sexual activity with each other, they don’t need to worry about pregnancy…but sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are still a concern. Most STDs can be spread through oral sex and sex toys, and some – like human papillomavirus (HPV) and genital herpes – can be spread through genital-to-genital contact.

Even if you’re not ready for this stage of a sexual relationship yet, I hope you’ll take the time to educate yourself about how to practice safer sex. For starters, use condoms on sex toys, and dental dams for oral sex to help reduce your risk of infection. To learn more about preventing STDs, see our Prevention + Safer Sex Overview.

Thanks again for sharing your questions, and I wish you good luck as you explore your sexuality and learn more about your body and how to keep yourself healthy.

Related info:

Annette Fuglsang Owens, MD, PhD

Dr. Owens is an AASECT-certified sexuality counselor. Her areas of expertise include the medical aspects of human sexuality and sexual problems, as well as the impact of STDs ⎼ and other diseases, illnesses and disabilities ⎼ on sexuality. Dr. Owens was educated at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark.

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