Anonymous on August 15, 2011

I’m a C5 quad and my girlfriend wants me to stimulate her that safe?

I’m a male C5 quad, and I like to perform oral sex on my female partner. She enjoys it, but after prolonged stimulation of her clitoris, she says it gets numb and orgasm is harder to reach. She wants me to stimulate her anus to give her clitoris a rest. Is this harmful?

answered by Mitchell Tepper, PhD, MPH on August 15, 2011

Thanks for sharing your concern.

First, it’s quite common for people to enjoy anal long as you’re both comfortable with it, feel free to explore.

That said, it’s highly recommended that you thoroughly wash the area around and inside the anus with soap and water...or use an enema. These activities can be done beforehand by your partner, or incorporated into your sex play.

To further reduce the risk of you or your girlfriend transmitting any infections to each other (e.g., sexually transmitted infections, E. coli or giardia), you may want to consider using a latex dental dam if you are going to engage in analingus or rimming (oral-anal contact)...or use a finger cot if you plan on giving her a sphincter massage or fingering her anus.

A finger in the anus (or an adapted butt plug if you don't have the dexterity in your fingers) in combination with cunnilingus may be just the recipe to get your girlfriend over the edge sooner. Because of the sensitive nature of the area, you may also want to use a water-based lubricant to ensure that her anus or rectum doesn’t tear.

I hope this information is useful to you, and that you and your girlfriend continue to communicate openly about each other’s sexual needs and preferences.

Related info:

Mitchell Tepper, PhD, MPH

Dr. Tepper directs sexual health education at An AASECT-certified sexuality educator and counselor, his areas of expertise include sexual dysfunctions, sexuality following disability or illness, pleasure and orgasm, relationships, and military and veteran couples' counseling. Dr. Tepper was educated at the University of Pennsylvania and Yale University.

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