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The Naked Truth The Sexual Health Blog

Barney Stinson’s Magical STD-Free Life

February 28th, 2013 by Jenni

The casanova character on How I Met Your Mother has unprotected sex
constantly—yet amazingly, he never pays the price.

If you’ve seen the CBS sitcom (and you probably have, since it’s on some channel or other every single minute of the day), you know that the character Barney Stinson has sex. Like, a LOT. Especially in the early seasons, it’s fair to say his near sole purpose for existence is to “bang” as many women as he possibly can. In one 30-minute episode, the skeevy sex fiend can be witnessed with as many as half a dozen ladies. He memorably commemorates his 200th horizontal encounter in the show’s fourth season, and he’s so far kept the humping and pumping going for four more seasons since that celebratory moment.

Yet the amazing thing about Mr. Stinson’s string of amorous adventures
is that despite never playing it safe and wearing a condom on Barney
Jr., he never catches any STDs. He never even gets an STD test. Despite exposing his tender bits to enough strangers to field about 50 softball teams, the guy never comes down with chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, or HIV/AIDS symptoms.

Barney’s amazing streak of luck in avoiding STDs is a far-off fantasy. You, sadly, have to deal with the reality—a reality that dictates if you were to attempt to duplicate his cavalcade of condomless conquests, you wouldn’t get too far down the road before succumbing to symptoms of one STI or another.

Happily, condoms are never very far out of reach. Even if you’re too broke to buy a pack of prophylactics at your friendly neighborhood drug store, free condoms are never far away:
• The website CondomFinder enables you to enter your ZIP code and determine in an instant what clinic, bar or community center within easy striking distance can set you up.
• Several smartphone apps enable you to use your handheld to get to free condoms; search “condom finder” in the iTunes or Google Play stores to set yourself up.
Happy hunting.

Photo credit: CBS

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