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Expert Q & A Answers About spinal cord injury

After my injury, I’m afraid of incontinence during oral sex...any suggestions?

I am a female C5-7 quad. Before my injury, my boyfriend frequently performed oral sex on me, which I enjoyed. Since my injury, we have not had oral sex because I am afraid of incontinence and am not sure how I will respond in terms of how it will feel, spasticity, leakage...you name it. Any suggestions?

What kind of medication can help a paraplegic have sex?

My 34-year-old boyfriend has been a paraplegic due to spinal cord injury from the waist-down for seven years. He told me he’s able to perform sexually with the aid of medication. What type of medication could he be talking about?

Are couples with one disabled partner more likely to get divorced?

Are there any studies on divorce rates among couples in which one person has a disability? What's the main reason for divorce? Does sexual dysfunction play a role? Do people with more severe disabilities have more marital problems? How about people who were married before they became disabled?

My partner’s spinal chord injury makes me feel self-conscious...what are some ways we can bring equal pleasure into the bedroom?

I'm very attracted to a man with a spinal cord injury, but when we've tried to be intimate, I find that I'm very self-conscious because the focus is more on my pleasure than his. I'm used to there being an obvious sign of a man's arousal (erection) and I feel awkward being the only one who appears to be aroused.

My husband has a spinal chord injury and now won’t even touch me. What can we do to fix our marriage?

My husband sustained a spinal cord injury just a year after we married. Since then, he’s not interested in sex, and never touches me. In fact, even when I hug him, he pushes me away as soon as he can. I have begged him to go to marriage counseling with me to get help but he refuses. His refusal to even try to work on our problems has made me resentful and I have stopped trying. I live in one part of the house and he lives in the other and we don’t spend time together at all without fighting. Part of me thinks "leave and get a life," and part of me still loves him and feels sorry for him, and wants our marriage to work. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I have a spinal chord injury and I’m slow to ejaculate...is there a toy that could help?

I am an incomplete C5-6 quad. I’m 26, male and I’ve been injured for nine years. I have no problem getting or maintaining an erection (with little or no stimulation), but my ejaculations take too long. When I stimulate the base above the testes, I get quicker results, though…so I’m wondering if there’s a toy that stimulates just this area?

I self-cath...is that why I keep getting urinary tract infections?

I’m a female, C5 quad and have never had a sexually transmitted disease. I self-cath and haven't had serious urinary tract infections before. My boyfriend and I are in a monogamous relationship and recently became sexually active. We don’t use protection...could this be why I’ve been getting more frequent urinary tract infections lately?

Is physical trauma the end of good sex?

I’ve survived a spinal cord injury. Now I’d like to know if I can learn to orgasm again. I’m a woman and I have a C4 injury with about 80% sensory below the shoulders. I can "feel" a lot, but the big bang eludes me. I have learned from my physical therapy that my body is very responsive to learning. What is it that would help me "re-educate” my intimate body?

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