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What can we do to avoid painful sex for my wife as we get older?

My wife and I are both healthy 47-year-olds who have been married for more than 20 years. Basically my wife dislikes deep penetration because she feels like it "bumps her internal organs." Is there any way we can get both deep penetration for me and comfort for her? Is there such a thing as a vagina that is "too short"?

We want to have sex for the first time, but it hurts! What’s the problem?

My boyfriend and I are both virgins...but we tried to have sex for the first time a couple nights ago. When he started to enter me, I felt a sharp pain. He could put the full length of his fingers in me comfortably, but his penis caused me pain. So we ended up not doing anything. Do you have any advice?

I can’t use my arms...how can I become more active in sexual positioning?

I can't use my arms to position myself because of my disability, so I feel locked into a very passive role. I hate asking my partner to make all the moves. How can I become more active in the relationship myself?