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Question:
I am a 26 year old female. I enjoy having sex with my boyfriend but lately it has become less enjoyable. We use condoms as our main birth control. When we are having sex everything seems to be going fine, but the more excited I become the tighter I become. This then causes the condom to get tighter.... which is a bad thing since this could cause it to break. Is there something that is wrong with me. It is making having sex terrible because I feel like I am the cause for my boyfriend to not be satisfied since we have to stop intercourse because of me. What can we do to fix this? We have tried many positions and without fail if I am excited or close to orgasm this happens.I feel like I am experiencing the equivalent to male preejaculation!
Thanks
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Answer:
by Susan Ludwig: (06/24/2004)
I am glad you worte about this condition that you describe as "tightening" during intercourse with your boyfriend. It sounds like this is quite upsetting for you, and you are wise to try to find answers.
First, it is important that you are certain that there is no medical reason for your discomfort. I hope that you are having regular pap smears and testing for STD's. That will reassure you that there is no physical problem involved in your question.
Second, it is important that you find someone that you can talk to about this. There are a lot of questions -- answers to which could help you to find the reason why this is happening. A few questions I would wonder about -- first, I wonder if you are having enough lubrication during intercourse. Condoms (even condoms with extra lubricant) are not a very good source of this lubrication -- and I would recommend that you try a personal lubricant. The most frequent cause of condoms breaking is when they become too dry -- so a good lubricant is very important!
Second, what do you do if you stop having intercourse because of this sensation? Are you and your partner able to continue to enjoy your sexual intimacy or do you feel like you have to "call it all off" because you fear condom failure? This would be a great opportunity for you and your partner to learn to communicate to one another exactly what gives you sexual pleasure . . . even when continuing intercourse is not possible for one reason or another.
Finally, have you talked to your boyfriend about your worries about this part of your physical intimacy? It is very important that you are able to talk about everything with regards to your sexual relationship.
This is a very limited forum in which to answer your question -- and I hope that as a result of reading this that you will resolve to make sure that there is nothing wrong with you physically -- and that you find someone with whom you can talk about your concerns!!
As you have said, finding answers to this is important both to this relationship and to any others you may have!
Thank you for writing!Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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