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Question:
hi im a 16 yr old girl. im having a few problems with my current sexual partner, who is my second sexual partner. 1. his penis is a bit longer so sometimes its really painful, like its hitting something inside me and sends stabs of pain. i dont know how to make it hurt less, because i dont want to tell him to stop or something. 2. my vagina, the inside and out has been feeling kinda itchy and at times a bit painful. and because we have sex often, i dont get recovery time or anything. i think it might be because he has bad skin around his fingers and bad nails. once again, i dont want to tell him to stop, because i dont want to hurt his feelings. but my vagina is very sore and im worried that it may be something more serious, because we dont use protection. i didnt have any problems with my first partner, with whom i also had unprotected sex with. im too embarrassed to go to a doctor.
thanks.
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Answer:
by Konstance McCaffree: ()
I know this isn't going to be a very popular answer, but I don't think you are mature or responsible enough to be having intercourse with anyone! And I am not a prude. I think teenagers can enjoy a sexual relationship as well as adults. YOU are not showing me any responsibility.
You absolutely cannot have sexual intercourse without protection. If you aren't mature enough to insist that your boyfriend use a latex condom every time you have intercourse or you aren't mature enough to go to a doctor to get on a hormonal method, you are not mature enough to be having sex and should stop NOW!
Since I know that you probably won't, I really plead with you to at least protect yourself by using something whether it be a spermicide or a female condom that you can get at any pharmacy.
I'm glad to help you with the pain you are feeling during intercourse, but you won't be able to do anything about it unless you can talk to your boyfriend about it. This is another area of maturity. Couples having sex talk to one another - they talk about prevention of unwanted after effects such as pregnancy and disease; they talk about protecting each other because if you are having sex it is presumed that you care about the other person as well as yourself. Couples talk about what feels good and not so good during sex so they can help one another have the most pleasure.
What do you think your boyfriend wants in this relationship? Is he in it only for the sex? If so then what do you have to lose by letting him know that what you are doing together is painful to you. YOu can ask him to make some changes in what the two of you do. First, you need to be on top during intercourse. If you are on your back then his penis is driving into your vagina and hitting the cervix which is the bottom section of the uterus. It is usually painful and the way to keep it from hurting is for you to change positions. That is easy to do by just suggesting to him that you think he might enjoy this more if he is relaxing on his back. You can then lay or sit on top and control how far he thrusts by just lifting away with your legs.
The other burning sensation you have may be that you already have gotten a sexually transmitted infection from either boyfriend. You can't find out about that without going to a doctor. It is really the responsible thing for you to do and certainly the only healthy thing to do, is go to the doctor and get yourself checked. You can get contraception then as well as treated for any infection you might have. If you don't do this, you are very likely to get pregnant and the baby will then have gotten some disease from you. You then have a baby that could be deformed or you have an abortion which would then force you to go to a doctor. So why not go now and be a mature, responsible, sexually healthy young person.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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