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Question:
Hello Susan,
First of all lets introduce: I'm 32, i've been married for 7 years and I have 3 children.
I had quite a happy marriage with my first husband and we had a normal sexual life and we made three babies.
A year and a half ago we divorced and now I have a boyfriend for 4 months. I like my boyfriend but I know that deep inside I go on loving my first husband (we divorced because I had someone else and that made me suffer a lot).
But my question is this: me and my boyfriend we are trying to have a normal sex activity but we can't because when it comes I can't handle it. The intercourse is too painful. The first time we made it through but was real stong pain for me and i also bleed a little during intercourse (that just happened to me in my first time!). Next day we tried again but he couldn't perform it because he was expelled from my vagina. During the act I feel to much pain and my muscles they contract really hard making impossible penetration. He tried clitoris extimulation, kissing and everything but i just can't relax and have intercourse. One thing really strange is that I always had very good lubrification and know I'm totaly dry and direct stimulation on the clit just don't excite me as before.
Doctor Susan, what is happening to me? Why can't I have sex with him? What can I do to change this situation?
Thank you a lot.
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Answer:
by Susan Kellogg-Spadt: ()
It sounds as though the muscles that make up the side walls and the floor of your vagina are in spasm. this is a condition called pelvic floor dysfunction and is usually treated by specialty gynecologists and/or urologists who see patients with other pelvic floor problems like urinary incontinence (loss of urine unexpectedly). Look in your phone book or ask other doctors or nurses in your community for a referral, and then go see a specialist who can help you get better. good luck.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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