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Question:
Am I Missing Something?
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Answer:
by Mitchell Tepper: (05/16/2004)
I am a ventilator-using quadriplegic woman due to muscular dystrophy. I've also had a hysterectomy. Both of these changes
pre-date any sexual activity I have had, so I have no way of comparing "before" with "after." I've never experienced orgasm
except by manual stimulation. I am grateful for my experiences as they are, but I wonder if I'm missing something.
You're certainly not alone in having no pre-disability sexual experience for comparison or wondering whether your disability is
limiting your experience now. And you are in the company of roughly 30 percent of your able-bodied sisters who only
experience orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation. Freud theorized that as a woman matured, the center of her erotic
pleasure should shift from her clitoris to her vagina. This has left a legacy of unwarranted anxiety for women who do not
experience orgasm during intercourse.
Kinsey's surveys found that women experienced more intense orgasms through clitoral stimulation, while Masters and Johnson's
laboratory studies revealed no difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms. Women who were aware of uterine
contractions during orgasm before hysterectomy have said they missed that sensation after, but they still reported enjoying
their orgasms. All women--including women with disabilities--are claiming their own authority in defining their orgasms.
Beverly Whipple, one of the world's foremost experts on the female orgasm, says "An orgasm is what a woman says is an
orasm."
I can't say whether your ability to orgasm only through manual stimulation is the result of physical impairment. What I can say
is that the ability to orgasm is resilient and avenues to orgasm are plenty. A recent study has documented orgasm in woman
with no feeling and no voluntary muscle control in their genitals, experienced either through genital stimulation or by
stimulation of other sensitive areas of their bodies. I suggest you read For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality, by
Lonnie Garfield Barbach, for 10 specific exercises you can follow as a guide to the many forms of stimulation.
--Mitch Tepper
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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