Answer:
by Konstance McCaffree: (07/08/2004)
I am happy to take your question. I hope I have some suggestions that may help you. There probably is no one particular reason that you are feeling more sensitive now, other than as your body matures it is feeling a very natural increased sexual excitement. Sometimes as the body matures there is more testosterone produced by the ovaries and other glands (yes, even females have testosterone and it is responsible for some of our sexual arousal)and that creates the increased sensitivity you describe.
Certainly masturbation can help release some of the sexual tension produced by it and I encourage you to continue masturbating. You may want to increase the various sexual fantasies that you have to include some of the real life situations you have that turn you on (rubbing up against someone you find attractive). Putting this into your fantasy may help, or it may intensify it and you will have to find some other more controlling way to avoid thinking about anything sexual.
The reason I suggest fantasy, is that sometimes provides you with a more positive feeling, and then you won't see sex as so negative. There is nothing about waiting until you are married to enjoy sex with a partner that needs to be negative. It just means that you will need to find ways that help you see those sexual feelings as manageable and positive. They are positive and you need not worry about them.
Having a reaction when someone rubs up against you can be a good thing. No one but you knows that you are having the reaction. You can turn it into a fantasy that pleases you, knowing that fantasies don't have to be acted on. They are a good way to manage feelings when we don't have a partner, or have values that suggest we should wait.
I don't know if any of this discussion is helpful, but reframing sex into something that is a positive expression of caring for someone, and that these sexual feelings you have are natural and just need to be directed somewhere until you actually do want to engage in a behavior is what is important. In the world of males, they are often told to take a cold shower, or to go out and exercise, or even to think about something very negative in order to manage those feelings. There isn't much that is ever said to girls, yet many women are struggling with exactly the same sensitivity to sexual feelings. It is this wonderful sensitivity that makes adult sexual lives so happy and fulfilling. You don't want to lose that- so hopefully you will appreciate your sexual feelings instead of feeling them as a negative.
Please write back if you want to talk about this more.Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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