Your question and situation is actually a very common one for many women (and their partners). It will not be easy for me to give you help in this arena since there is so much to say.

First, I applaud you for not wanting any more drugs until you have tried some other therapies.

All of this is complicated because after a woman has children it is common for their drive to be diminished some because she is tired and stressed with all the work 24/7 and the young children. Also, though you mention that she is in her sexual peak, any time can really be an individual woman's sexual high time. There really is not something that is a peak, which would indicate things are downhill from here. There are times when sex drive is higher than others all through the life span. It waxes and wanes with hormonal changes AND personal experience situations.

I would really recommend that you find a good therapist who works with sexual issues. Part of what she may need is a hormone screening with an internist because it may be that the hormones are still in flux since the baby.

If you don't know who might be a good therapist living within easy access to you, you might go to the web site of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and look up a good therapist living in your state. That person may be able to make recommendations of someone living near you.

You certainly can do things at home but it really needs to be guided by a good therapists and not something that is easy for me to do on line.

If you have other questions, please feel free to write again.

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team