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Question:
I am 20 years old and for the past few years I have not been able to become sexually aroused. When I was younger, right before and after puberty, I could get turned on so easily. I wanted to touch myself and wanted others to touch me. I was so willing to masturbate and experiment with myself. But now, it is different. I don't even want to masturbate because I don't feel anything. It starts to feel good but then it hurts. I tried masturbating tonight, the first time in a very long time, but the same thing happened and I couldn't finish. I have never had an orgasm or a real boyfriend. I consider myself a virgin because I haven't had sex with a man. However I want to because I want to see if that will make a difference. I am sick and tired of not feeling anything. What could be doing this to me? I am doing something wrong? I am getting so frustrated and I am starting to think I will never be able to reach sexual climax. Help. What do you suggest I do?

Answer:
by Patricia Fawver:
(04/22/2007)
It's good that you have tried fantasizing and masturbating. I am concerned about your decrease in desire though. Certain things (like some oral contraceptives and some antidepressants) can have a significant impact on a womans sexual desire or her ability to orgasm. It's good that you are trying though. For many women, sexual response is a learning process before they are able to reach orgasm. Don't give up! Sexual pleasure is important and you are entitled to be able to feel desire, arousal, orgasm, and pleasure. Meanwhile, I would suggest you talk to your doctor if you are on any of those medications and you feel they could be having an impact on your libido. You can also visit a sex therapist or Clinical Sexologist for a session to talk over some ideas that could help you. There are also many good books available on female sexuality. Just go to the bookstore and browse through them until you find one that seems to fit your needs. Good luck with everything. Don't give up hope! Sexual pleasure is worth pursuing. Thanks, Patricia Fawver, Ph.D.

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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