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Question:
I have recently been seeing a woman in her early 40's she is overweight and has several esteem issues regarding her sexuality. Unfortunately, I did not make them better by breaking up with her. When asked why, I quite frankly had to discuss her very strong vaginal odor which was a total turn off to me. I feel terrible to now have created another blasting blow to her sexual esteem and I want desperately help her with the issues she is facing. She claims her worst fear is that she is sexually repulsive and now this occurance has made her fears a reality. Do you have any suggestions to help her sexual esteem, books, therapy, etc? I really want to help in some way.
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Answer:
by Sandra L. Caron: ()
I don't mean to take what you are saying lightly, but personally I do not think you can help her.... only she can help herself. You have been honest with her about an issue that she needs to address with a health care provider. It sounds like she needs to take control of her own body - diet, exercise, positive thinking. Perhaps she could find a support group in her area - I am sure she can find others who struggle with some of the same issues. If she is not ready for a group, perhaps meeting one-on-one with a counselor would be useful. There are many great books on self-esteem, women's development, and feeling good about yourself. Dr. Phil McGraw's books may be a starting point:for example, Life Strategies (see link on the right). I think you can remind her that you care about her and encourage her to seek the assistance she needs to make positive changes in her life. Best wishes. Reviewed by: Scott Gross M. Ed.
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