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Question:
Recently I met this young man and he and I have been dating for 3 months and we had sex with a condom but we perform oral sex on each other. My problem is I recenly found a prescriptions for drugs relating to HIV (epivir,norvir,fortovase) and I did research and found that they are HIV related. My last HIV test was in July and it came back negative, should I have some concerns about contracting AIDS from my partner and how do I approach him with this? and also, what are the necessary steps to find out whether I have been exposed?
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Answer:
by Georgan Gregg: (06/26/2004)
This is a matter of communication, as well as learning about HIV transmission & testing. Whether this young man is infected with HIV or not, you should always be concerned about transmission of HIV. The term AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is used to name a set of symptoms years after the actual HIV infection has taken place. Safe(r) sex should always be used unless you are in a monogamous relationship in which both of you have tested negative.
The best approach to beginning a conversation with your boyfriend is probably an honest one: “I recently saw your prescription for some HIV-related drugs & it concerns me greatly.” This will open a dialogue to discover if he is HIV-positive & if so, his rationale for not sharing this information with you. Being HIV-positive but not telling a sexual partner is irresponsible, to say the least. Your response to such a lie of omission can only be your choice, even if he says something like he was using condoms anyway & feared your rejection. You should always be given the choice to choose your level of risk. If you decide to continue a relationship with an HIV-positive partner, I strongly recommend counseling with an HIV knowledgeable & sensitive couples counselor.
Oral sex can pass on HIV if no barrier is used. The barrier of a latex condom is important in intercourse & oral sex because the urethra, penis, anus & vagina are mucous membrane, which allows HIV to enter the blood stream, possibly causing infection. This is true during fellatio (blow job or mouth to penis sex) even if no ejaculation takes place because HIV can be present in pre-ejaculatory fluid. His mouth on your vagina should also have a barrier (condom cut to lay flat or normal household plastic wrap). Although saliva is not considered to be a transmitter of the virus that leads to AIDS, blood can be in the saliva from dental work, flossing, or the like. While there must be visible blood in his mouth for HIV to be transmittable, mouth to vagina sex can definitely pass on HIV.
As far as your own HIV status, a past negative test only gives you reassurance for the 6 months prior to that test. The term “exposed” means that HIV has been present & that’s not the same as being “infected” which would be that HIV has entered your blood stream & attacked your immune system. Being infected means that you have become HIV-positive. The only way to discover this is to take the same blood test you took in July. This test is looking for your body’s response to HIV infection—HIV antibodies. It takes most people from 2 weeks to 6 months after infection to develop such antibodies, which is why a test earlier won’t be conclusive.
Good luck & please do not hesitate to contact us again if you have further questions. By the way, you can phone the National AIDS Hotline anytime at 800-342-2437, to ask anonymous questions of trained information specialists & even get referrals for testing.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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