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Question:
Hi, I'm a 21 yr. old female. About 6 months ago I found out that I have genital herpes. The only way I could of gotten this is from my current boyfriend who is my first.It's been really hard to deal with this because my friends and family believe he knew that he had it. We are very close and I chose to believe him. Is it possible for a man to not know that he has the virus? Most people say that you have to know. I'm really confused and I hope that you have time to respond. Thanks so much for your time.
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Answer: by Yvonne Fulbright: (06/24/2004)
Since a person can carry the herpes virus and be asymptomatic (without symptoms), there is a chance that your boyfriend was not aware that he is a carrier for the infection. Furthermore, there is a chance that he does not carry the genital herpes strain of the virus at all. Does he ever have the occasional cold sore? If your boyfriend carries the oral herpes strain of the virus, then he could have passed the virus on to you during oral sex. So given all of this, your boyfriend may be sincere in claiming he was unaware of his herpes infection - or he may not.
Especially given that he may not have genital herpes himself, it is very important that the two of you practice safe sex. Condoms do offer some protection against herpes transmission and the best thing you can do to avoid transmission is to abstain from sexual activity during a breakout.
Thank you for visiting the Sexual Health Network.
Yvonne K. Fulbright, MS.Ed.Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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