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Question:
My boyfriend and I are both 25 and in the early stages of our relationship. He has no problem getting an erection or maintaining one throughout oral sex, but when we have attempted to have intercourse he loses his erection after penetration. He has never experienced this before and is naturally embarassed and frustrated. He once said that it may have something to do with a fear he has of "falling too hard for me". I am writing because I don't know what to do or how to approach the subject with him. I am afraid talking more about it and trying to get to the root of the problem may stress him out more. Should I let it alone and wait? I feel helpless... Thank you.

Answer:
by Stanley Ducharme:
(06/05/2004)
Thanks for your question. At this time it is impossible to know whether this difficulty is due to stress and anxiety or whether there may be some physical difficulty. Often, some type of trauma to the penis can cause this difficulty in young men. I would try not to analyze the situation too much. The best thing is to first get your boyfriend to see someone to get a professional diagnosis and treatment. Often doctors may suggest some Viagra until your boyfriend feels a little more confident. For you the best thing is to realize that this problem doesn't mean anything in terms of his feelings for you. Don't take it personal. Try to take all the pressure off and just enjoy being together and being intimate regarless of whether he gets an erection or not. Often sex therapist suggest doing other things besides intercourse for a while until the two of you are more relaxed and the focus is off of his erection.The most important thing is however to have him see a doctor. Good luck Stan Ducharme

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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