Register to join our community
|
|
Question:
Thanks for the Email dated 23rd March. I have few more questions. 1.) Has the relationship of your men been with women who are also disabled or do they seek the approval of the so called "normal" women to establish their sexuality. 2.) Do you have any statistics on how successful is a relationship between people with disability. 3.) What about women with Cerebral Palsy -have you made any studies on their sexuality problems. 4.) How does aging affect people with CP.
|
Answer:
by Russell Shuttleworth: (05/13/2004)
: You ask some very good questions. I'll do my best to answer them.
1) Some of the men I interviewed for my study have had disabled girlfriends in the past, usually early in their relationship histories. However, none of them in the more recent past or currently has been/is with a disabled woman. Although I know some disabled men in the SF Bay disability community who are with disabled women, I think that you are partially correct. Some of the men who I interviewed did admit to being more attracted to non-disabled women than disabled women. Obviously our cultural ideals of desirability significantly influence some of these men. Some of the men also stated that life/sex would be more cumbersome with 2 disabled people in a relationship (the practical excuse). Others said that they would not rule out being with a disabled woman. Suffice to say that disabled men (and also women) are not immune to the same biases and prejudices of the general population.
2. I do not have any readily available statistics on the success rate of relationships between people with a disability. However, Mitch and Lizzi did a brief review on divorce and disability you might be interested in reading. There are certainly some issues that are different than if one person in the relationship was non-disabled.
3. I have not specifically studied the sexuality issues for women with cerebral palsy. However, I did interview 2 women with cerebral palsy to get a sense of what their issues were in comparison to the men in the study. Some of the issues that these women brought up were fear of rejection, being seen as asexual, not wanting to deal with a disabled
partner's disability issues, and abuse. It seems to me that establishing and developing intimacy was more primary for these women than for most of the men. Not to say they weren't interested in sex, but it was sex within an intimate relationship. While this was also ideally desired by the men, for some of the men the sexual component was not always connected to emotional intimacy. Of course, this fits right into the stereotype of men and women in our society. There may be some truth to the stereotype (what part is nature and what part is nurture?). But in order to get a more nuanced understanding of the differences, a larger sample of women would obviously be necessary.
My critique of much of the sexuality and disability research that has been conducted is that much of it has been focused on the individual (physiological, psychological), not on the social and cultural barriers that they face. An in-depth study of the sexuality of women with cerebral palsy and the barriers that they face would likely reveal some important issues related to gender roles/expectations, social expectations, etc. that have barely been mentioned in the literature.
4. In terms of age, you should be aware that the effects of aging are noticeable at a slightly younger age for people with cp. That means stiffness begins to set-in a little earlier. Sexual positions that may have been possible in your 20's may not be possible as you age. Of course, as in the general population, regular exercise (especially stretching or swimming) can to some extent alleviate the effects of aging.
If you have any further questions or need some clarification on these,
don't hesitate to ask. Take care,
Russell Shuttleworth
The Sexual Health Network
Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
|
This question appears in the following topics:
|
|
|
|
