Question:
I am new to oral sex and am fortunate to have a loving patient understanding wonderful man to learn with. I find it to be a lovely intimate way to express my love for him and give him pleasure. I enjoy his taste, the scent of his skin, and the feel of him. However, I have always had a very sensitive gag reflex (even with something silly like brushing my teeth) and would like to know if there are any pointers or perhaps alternative positions to help ease that.
I know the majority of sensation is in the head but he does seem to find it pleasurable when I take him deeper into my mouth. He is pleasantly proportioned but not overly huge, so I don't think that is the problem. Any ideas would be appreciated.
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Answer:
by Jenni Skyler: (10/11/2009)
Congratulations on finding new methods of pleasure for both you and your partner! Giving oral sex can certainly be a beautiful gift. Because you already find the activity sensual and pleasurable, there is very little left to do expect bolster your current technique to work within the limits of your gag response. I would first suggest experimenting with different positions, such as laying on your side or on top of him, so that his penis touches a different part of your mouth.
There are also a handful of creams and sprays that have a small amount of Benzocaine, an ingredient that causes a numbing sensation that helps combat the gag reflex. If you prefer to abstain from products with Benzocaine, then use a water-based lubricant with one hand lightly massaging his testicles, and one hand on the shaft of his penis. Keep the hand on his penis connected to your mouth and lips so that they move back and forth in unison. Your hand can create sufficient friction so that you do not have to take his whole penis in your mouth. If you maintain a good grip with your hand, and ensure that you have plenty of lubrication or saliva to maintain a wet slide, you will only need to use your mouth for his head. Use slow strokes to start, then increase your speed and grip as his arousal heightens.
You may need to have him communicate verbally or non-verbally when he is ready for you to increase your intensity. As orgasm approaches, you and he may want to discuss various options. Taking his ejaculate in your mouth may cause a gag response, so having him ejaculate outside your mouth may be best. With time, you may be able to work towards taking some of his ejaculate in your mouth if this is a preference. There are many books and videos that offer a plethora of techniques to include using your tongue and hands in various manners. Check out the DVD video—Fire on the Mountain: Male Genital Massage (2003), or Violet Blue’s book—The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure. Reviewed by: Kathleen Scarbo (VanKirk) MA, DHS, CYT
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