Answer:
by Konstance McCaffree: (07/01/2004)
It is very common for there to be pain for a woman when she first has sex because the thin tissue that surrounds the opening of the vagina gets stretched and so does the ring of muscles that surrounds the opening. Inside of the vagina there is often not as much sensation which is why the thrusting motion and the body angles create sensation for the female as her clitoris (which is on the outside in front of the opening to the vagina) gets pulled and rubbed during intercourse.
You didn't mention whether you were using a latex condom when you first had intercourse with her because often that creates a diminished sensation. There are lots of reasons men don't have as much feeling on their penis - one is the circumcision. Men who have been circumcised actually have less sensation because the penis skin has had to get "tougher" in order to not be so sensitive. That is why men sometimes need lots of hard touching in order to really get aroused. It is also why they do hard thrusting during interourse or even have hitting or other more drastic ways to stimulate the penis. You and your partner may need to find different positions or ways or touching that will increase the sensation for you. Together you can do it. There is no one way to answer this. The two of you can figure out what feels good as you develop your sexual life together.
One of the big myths about sex is that it just happens and there is automatic pleasure. This is not the case at all. Each couple has to figure out ways to pleasure each other that works for both of them. It just doesn't happen.
Please feel free to write again if you ave other questions.Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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