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Question:
I can have clitoral orgasms but I've been trying to have vaginal orgasms for a few years now. Where is the "G-spot" usually located in women? I feel like I don't even have one. I've heard that when the "G-spot" is "hit" then you'll know. But I haven't felt anything like that, yet.

Answer:
by Blaise Parker: ()
Hi, I've discussed the g-spot previously in "http://www.sexualhealth.com/questions/read.cfm?ID=1658". Take a look at it for information about where the g-spot is located and what it feels like. Now, as for your inability to find your g-spot, there may be a couple of issues going on here. I believe that everyone has a g-spot (other people debate this), but it may be that yours is not as sensitive to sexual stimulation as some. There is no mystical way that you will simply "know" if your g-spot is hit. It's not like it automatically feels wonderful or gives you an orgasm or anything. In fact, some women find g-spot stimulation uncomfortable or unpleasant. To find your g-spot, you can try using your fingers or your partner's fingers in the area described on the above link (approx 2" inside the vaginal canal, if you haven't clicked on that link yet). You can also try sex toys that are specifically intended for g-spot stimulation. I know that "http://www.goodvibes.com" (Good Vibrations) makes some, and most other sex toy companies do, too. If you can have clitoral orgasms, count yourself fortunate. Many women are pre-orgasmic throughout their lives. You should never feel discouraged, or as if you are not a good sexual partner simply because you don't have vaginal orgasms. Freud was one of the first people who distinguished between clitoral and vaginal orgasms, and he argued that women who could have vaginal orgasms were "more mature." This is bull. Studies have shown that, while there may be a different subjective experience between the two types of orgasm, there are no marked physiological differences. One way that may help you have orgasms during penis-in-vagina sex is to use a vibrator or your hand to stimulate the clitoris at the same time. This can lead to an orgasm known as a "blended orgasm," which results from both clitoral and g-spot stimulation. You may also find that with time you become more responsive to vaginal stimulation. As hormone levels fluctuate throughout the lifespan, women's sexual interests and sources of pleasure may change as well. It also may be a size issue, as a bigger penis can stimulate more of the vaginal canal at once. This is not to say that bigger is always better, but in this instance, it can make a difference. One way I am familiar with that can make vaginal orgasms easier is to try kegel exercises, which is a squeezing of the vaginal muscles. "http://www.universityobgyn.com/kegal.htmis a page with more information on kegel exercises. Tensing those muscles during sex may increase your pleasure, and possibly his as well! The bottom line is, don't get discouraged and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Keep experimenting... I doubt that you've exhausted all the sexual possibilities already! Relax and enjoy your sex life! :) Take care, Blaise

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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