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Question:
This is probably a unique question. My bf and I have a very open relationship and we have begun exploring anal sex, but we are both stumped on this. I can only reach climax through anal sex and he says he would like to feel me orgasm vaginally. I don't know if this would have anything to do with this,but in my previous relationship my ex was performing oral on me and bit my clitors and I lost all feeling in it for a couple of months and I still have very little sensation.
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Answer:
by Raven James: (05/28/2005)
There may be a few things you may want to consider in exploring orgasm during vaginal intercourse. It is very common for women to have difficulty in reaching orgasm during vaginal sex without receiving oral or manual stimulation of the clitoris at the same time. For many women, the stimulation that occurs during intercourse is simply less effective than direct manual or oral stimulation. Clitoral orgasms are the most common in women, and certainly, your experience of having your clitoris bitten may have had an impact on the sensitivity of the nerve endings, thus reducing your ability to experience a clitoral orgasm. It may not hurt to discuss your injury with your gynecologist as well.
As far as your ability to climax through anal intercourse, the stimulation of his penis may be rubbing your G-spot or the grafenberg spot, which is located near the opening of the vagina, just behind the pubic bone. Do you or your partner use your fingers to rub your clitoris during anal sex? If not, the orgasm you expereince during anal sex may be due to the sensations caused through this erotic location.
In order to reach climax through vaginal sex, you may need to work up to it by experimenting with oral and manual (fingers) stimulation of your clitoral area. Depending on how traumatically your injury occured, there may be some fear on your part to trust another lover to take proper care. Oftentimes, anxiety and trauma can inhibit women from experiencing climax as well. Another suggestion would be to incorporate a vibrator in your love-making. The extra stimulation may assist you in reaching climax. There are many different sized vibrators on the market, and they can be positioned between yourself and your lover during intercourse. An excellent site for purchasing vibrators and sex aids is www.goodvibrations.com
I hope this information can help you and your partner in climax. Just remember to relax, and be patient, sometimes it takes time to be comfortable and trusting of a partner before we can let go. Good luck and enjoy each other!Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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