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Question:
My wife is a victim of sexual abuse that took place when she was 11..Over 20 years ago. I new that this was an issue and have been very sensitive to her needs. There has been times in our 10 year relationship where this abuse has affected us sexually, but for the most part she has been able to deal with the "triggers." Over the past few months she has dropped into a very depressed state. And whatever I do, the way my breath smells, the way I walk across the carpet has been deepening her depression and whipping up those memories. I am starting to believe that my very presence is making the situation worse.
It goes without saying that (not to be selfish or anything ) this is taking a huge toll on me also. I am considering a separation so that I am out of the picture for a while in order to 1) foster her returning to a more "level" state and 2) help me to regain my stability. I'm very much at the end of my rope, but I love her so much, I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?
BTW we are in counseling.
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Answer:
by Wendy Maltz: (05/17/2004)
Besides couples counseling, your wife should consider doing individual
therapy to address the experiences from her past that are getting
triggered in relationship with you. There does not seem much you can
do, except to take good care of yourself both physically and
emotionally, and continue to support her to get the help she needs.
Wendy Maltz LCSWReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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