Answer:
by Georgan Gregg: ()
Sorry, but I can’t mail information. I recommend Bernie Zilbergeld’s book “The NEW MALE Sexuality.“ Specific treatment for erectile difficulties is detailed there.
Let me share some basic information on this topic with you. Men experience temporary impotence or erectile difficulties as a normal part of sexuality. The inability to achieve or to maintain an erection at certain times, in certain situations or with certain partners is absolutely normal. Here’s some of the reasons: fatigue, stress, anxiety, depression, alcohol & drug abuse, diabetes, side effects of some medication, deficient hormonal functioning, circulatory problems, relationship issues including lack of trust, power struggle, competitiveness or monotony.
Men experiencing erectile difficulties can be their own worst enemy. They become a spectator, apprehensively 'watching' their performance (specifically, their penis) & asking themselves "will I be able to have an erection this time?" They try to will an erection, increasing their anxiety, which, of course, interferes with the ability to get an erection. They may begin to stay away from sex to avoid another 'failure.' Their partner may also avoid sex to keep from embarrassing the man, or to avoid feeling responsible for the erectile problems. It becomes a vicious cycle!
Zilbergeld says that most erection problems are due to:
· unrealistic expectations, such as, all sexual activity 'should' end in intercourse
· lack of arousal, meaning men's cultural conditioning that they ‘should’ be ready for sexual activity any time, any place, with anybody
· absence of necessary conditions, such as being relaxed, being aroused, being turned on
Men with erection problems need to learn to relax, to enjoy physical pleasure & to enjoy emotional interaction. When a man ignores his lack of erection during sexual activity, focuses on his arousal level & on the sensual pleasure of touch, he will most likely experience spontaneous erections. Such men need to learn how to give & receive sensual pleasure without goal-oriented performance in mind, like having intercourse. They need to learn non-demand pleasuring so that they can abandon themselves to sexual feelings.
Zilbergeld lists conditions necessary to resolve erection problems:
· engage in sexual activity only when aroused
· meet all conditions for enjoyable sex
· recognize signs of tension & anxiety & practice relaxation
· get the kind of stimulation needed for sufficient arousal & focus on the stimulation & arousal level
By the way, this is a great book for women to read, too. Good luck & contact us again if we can be of help.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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