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Question:
Hey, I am 33 and my husband is 42. We have great sex but doesn't seem to last more than maybe 3-5 minutes, I was just wondering if this is normal in a man his age? I love the whole 3-5 minutes,he is unbelievable. I have never been one to like the long periods of sex but at the same time another 10 minutes would be great. He tells me it's because the sex is awesome and he can't control it,but at the same time, what is he suppose to tell me, know what I mean?! I have a few more questions but 1 at the time....Thanks ;)
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Answer:
by Megan Andelloux: (11/27/2005)
Thanks for writing in and just for kicks you should know he's lasting longer than the national average-which is 2 minutes once penetration has occured, but we aren't looking to keep up with the Jones here are we?
In terms of making him last longer for you, there are some things that can occur. I'm going to run through them in a list format cause there's a bunch.
1. Have him breathe in through his nose out through his mouth-makes him last longer.
2. Do not have him thrust in with his butt muscles, tell him to have his tummy muscles thrust him in. Using the butt muscles as the guiding tool will cause him to come quicker.
3. There is a spot inbetween his anus and his scrotum (perinieum) that can prevent ejaculation. Slide the fingers over that area and when you feel a slight indentation, that is the spot to press on. He needs to notify you when he is close to cumming and then he is to stop thrusting, the spot is pressed on for approx 15-30 seconds. This is important though, he needs to notify you before he comes or it won't work.
4. When he feels like he is close to cumming he can pull out of you and using his thumb, place it right behind the head of the penis. With his index and middle fingers, place those on the underside of his head. When all the fingers are in place, squeeze (with some pressure, not a little or too little) for 15-30 seconds. This wll prevent ejaculation.
5. You could ride him. Sitting on top of him allows you to control the depth and speed of penetration and when he feels like he is getting closer to cumming you stop what you doing and this gives him a chance to calm down a little.
6. He could perform oral sex on you before hand and get you all worked up, even bring you to orgasm first if you want, before he penetrates you.
7. You could both go out and purchase a dildo that he could use on you after he has ejaculated but you want to continue to be filled before the next round.
It takes on average women 10-20 minutes to reach orgasm after they have been penetrated so what you are describing here is completely normal. All of these are fun ways to experiment and see what style you and your husband like best. There is a great book out currently called "She Comes First" you can purchase at any major bookstore that teaches men how to increase their female partners pleasure in bed by performing oral sex on them before penetrative sex and teaches them to rethink oral sex not being a foreplay act, but the main course. The reason behind this is more women reach orgasm from oral sex than they do from penis/vaginal sex.
Good luck and have fun fiquring out which way works best for you and your husband!
Megan Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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