I smoke pot, and drink a little, but not much. I use viagra or similar to make sure I am always capable of pleasing my lover, some of the new medications give me 24 hours of confidence.

In the past I have taken herbal supplements designed to increase limbido/desire/endurance, but am not currently. The ONLY problem I have is that even with all the pleasure and activity, it is USUAL for me, even when having sex several times in a 24 to 48 hour period, I may only have an orgasm/ejaculate once, and sometimes not even then.

My girlfriend may have several orgasms, and she will do ANYTHING to please me, and sometimes she seems concerned that I have not had an orgasm, even after 2 days of wonderful sex. I don't define "good sex" for ME as requiring an orgasm, but I would like to know if there is anything I can do in terms of supplements/nutrition or anything to make myself multi orgasmic.

As you may know, it’s normal for men to experience changes in their erections, orgasms, and ejaculations as time goes by. They may find that their erections aren’t as hard or frequent as they were when they were in their teens and 20’s. They may also find that it takes more direct stimulation to reach orgasm. Ejaculations may involve less semen and be less forceful. The refractory period (i.e., time after orgasm before you can become physically aroused again) also tends to increase.

Still, what you are describing sounds like something more than simply the normal effects of aging. Delayed ejaculation (DE) – which used to be referred to as “retarded ejaculation” – describes situations in which a man experiences has difficulty reaching orgasm/ejaculation even after a long period of sexual stimulation. Contributing factors include: medication side-effects, underlying medical conditions such as diabetes, lack of sufficient stimulation, anxiety, and fear of intimacy.

Some men find that even small quantities of alcohol or marijuana interfere with their sensitivity to sexual stimulation. You might find it helpful to avoid these substances for a day or two before sex, so that you can get a better sense of if/how they affect your body these days. Just because they didn’t seem to have much effect when you were younger doesn’t mean that they don’t have any effect now.

While Viagara and other medications help men get and keep harder erections, they don’t really enhance one’s ability to reach orgasm.

I encourage you to spend some time exploring what types of sexual stimulation are most sexually arousing. (This can be a lot of fun for both you and your partner!) You may find that it’s much easier to reach orgasm through masturbation than through partnered sexual activity. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your partner. It’s simply easier to adjust the stimulation as needed when you masturbate. Many men find that they are particularly sensitive to manual stimulation of the glans (head) of the penis or and of the prostate gland. Experiment with different touches and stokes. You may also want to try using a vibrator or other sex toys, since they can help provide stimulation to facilitate climax.

I also recommend that you talk with your primary healthcare provider or a urologist to determine whether any medical conditions are contributing to your experience. Be sure to report all over-the-counter and prescription medications you’ve been using, since this might be important.

Finally, keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Since she’s expressed concern about the frequency of your orgasms, she may be feeling somewhat concerned about her desirability or skills as a lover. She may also be worried about your physical health. Talking honestly and lovingly about both her and your feelings can further strengthen your relationship.

Best wishes,

Kelly Ace

Reviewed by: Kathleen Scarbo (VanKirk) MA, DHS, CYT