Question:
My partner, who I love a lot and think she is unbelievably sexy, can't make me cum. No one has ever been able to make me cum, I always have to rub myself to finish me. Why is this? What can I try to fix it. I have no problem going for 4+ hours because I just don't feel any extreme pleasure.
I've also noticed all of the things I've gotten from women don't feel good. The experience is sexy, but the feeling is just not there. I feel numb when its happening. When a tooth grazes over it hurts so I obviously feel down there...
Help.
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Answer:
by Jenni Skyler: (12/26/2009)
First off, have you seen a urologist for a physical exam to check out if there is anything biological going on—i.s. scar tissue or injuries? Though you may or may not have male anorgasmia, you will want to explore this venue as it can effect up to eight percent of the male population. Men with this condition will want to explore their general health, including the medication currently being used. For instance, sexual side effects of Adderall include decreased sex drive and erectile dysfunction.
Clearly you are able to maintain an erection. However, I’m curious about your level of sexual interest in the activities you engage in? Do you fantasize or employ porn that is somewhat similar to your real sex life? While porn and fantasy are meant to be just that—fantasy—our fantasies can key us into what turns us on and off.
I’m also curious about your sexual history and if you have any past experiences that were traumatic, uncomfortable, or abusive? Have you ever had a back injury that might have affected your spinal cord and sensory functioning? Do you bicycle often? What are your masturbation habits? Do you refrain from masturbation for a 24 hour or longer period before you engage in sexual activity? I’m also curious if you’ve explored various sexual positions, environmental settings, and supplemental novelty aides? You may want to take a tour of your local adult sex shop and see if anything spikes your interest. However, because you are so young, I highly advise seeking a consultation with a skilled sex therapist who can help you explore the possibility of psychological issues or hidden anxiety that hinder you from fully letting go.
A fabulous read on this topic can be found in SexualHeatlh.com’s article by expert Marty Klein’s: What is Male Anorgasmia? For alternative ideas on orgasm and male sexuality, also check out Dr. Abrams’ article in Sexualheatlh.com on Taoism and Sexuality.
Reviewed by: Kathleen Scarbo (VanKirk) DHS
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