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Question:
Good day,
I am writing to find some sort of answer which in some aspects makes me feel inadequate when it comes to my partner. For quite sometime now I seem to ejaculate quite rapidly through intercourse and hold it a little longer from oral but not much longer. Especially through intercourse I can't seem to hold back my ejaculate. Intercourse lasts maybe for 15-30 seconds and this is frustrating me... Then mentally I want to keep making love to my partner but to put it bluntly go limp...I want to find some sort of solution to this problem and be able to maintain a stron erection and be able to have intercourse or other methods longer. Is there vitamins or medication to help me with my labido, erection and premature ejaculation problems?
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Answer:
by Annette Owens: (05/21/2004)
Yes, there are medications you can take for premature ejaculation, but I would only recommend those as a very last resort. There is much you can do before choosing pharmacological treatment. The drugs usually prescribed are antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI's). These medications commonly have the side effect of making it difficult to ejaculate and to reach orgasm, which is obviously beneficial for men with premature ejaculation. However, they also frequently cause reduced sex drive, a risk you may not be willing to take.
It sounds as if your problem with early ejaculation started about a year ago. Did anything else happen around the same time? Why do you think you are having the problem? How long have you known your partner? I find it very positive that you told me in your additional information that she does not find it a big problem since you bring her to orgasm before. This is very important and I am glad that you have found a way to satisfy her sexually.
So it is mainly a problem for you, which is a valid reason to be concerned. It is important to note that the definition of premature ejaculation does not include any time factor but that it means ejaculating earlier than you wish to, which seems to be the case for you. Can you control your ejaculation better during masturbation? What do you think about before it happens, and when it happens? Some men think that distracting themselves will help, while actually the opposite is true. It is important to focus on your sensations in order to recognize the point prior to ejaculation. By changing the stimulation pattern at that time you may be able to delay ejaculation. Can you get a second erection after a while? This usually takes time, but some men experience that they last longer the second time around.
Premature ejaculation is probably the most common male sexual problem. In most cases it can be treated. Do you know about the squeeze technique and the stop/start method? It is very important to do the exercises under proper guidance. A sex therapist can give you the direct feedback, which you may need. You can contact The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) at www.aasect.org. Their list also includes sex therapists in Canada.
If you want to give it a try by yourself I encourage you to read chapter 22: "Developing Ejaculatory Control" in the book "The New Male Sexuality" by Bernie Zilbergeld. You may get enough insights and help from reading that particular chapter in order to lengthen the time period before you ejaculate. Dr. Zilbergeld describes several exercises that you should follow. Another book, which I can recommend is called "PE. How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation" by Helen Singer Kaplan. You can include your partner in many of these exercises.
You also asked about drugs to enhance erections and libido. This is something you should discuss with your physician. You are only in your twenties and very young for drugs such as Viagra. I would recommend trying some of the other options first.
Only a few hours away from the new millennium I wish you good luck with everything and a happy new year!
Annette Owens, MD PhD
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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