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Question:
I have suffered from ejaculatory retardation for my entire adult life, beginning with my first attempt at sex with the another person. I can't begin to tell you the anxiety this has caused both me and the women I've loved in the course of my life. I've been married for 27 years to a wonderful woman and in the past few years my problem has lessened. I can ejaculate - sometimes - but only after long, long intercourse. I can masturbate and come fairly easily, but my wife can't bring me to orgasm with her hand or mouth no matter how long she works on me. Viagra (which I can't afford to use on a regular basis) keeps me erect so that I do reach orgasm more frequently, but it still takes a long time. After a certain point, the act changes from a pleasurable activity, to just hard work - which is no fun for either of us.

Answer:
by :
(05/13/2004)
Situational retarded ejaculation often presents as a treatment challenge, especially if it becomes a long term problem. From the complicated and fairly detailed history you shared in your email, I would suggest finding an experienced sex therapist, who is also tuned in to dealing with the issues of guilt and couple frustration. Consultation with a urologist may help, as certain medications may assist in promoting ejaculation. However, long term help will most likely require the assistance of a specialized therapist. Consult the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists for a certified sex therapists in your area.

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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