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Question:
I need to find an answer to a problem that occured with me and the man that I love and cherish in my life.....we met we love one another a lot but we have long distance relathionship..do to that we had sexual relationship through the phone and that led to mastrubation our love was so much that we would have sex 5-6 times a day( by mastrubating) after 3 years he can not get erected and he is blaming it to mastrubation that brought him this damage. We are adults he is 36 now and i am 44. I would like to inform you that when we had normal intercourse he got erected but it took him some time to get erected with my patience and love for him. Can you please answer me through e-mail if mastrubating 5-6 times a day in 3 years period would delelop this kind of a problem? He went to a doctor and had his testosteron level in his blood checked which and he said to me that it came out ok.
Please give me an answer it upsets me and i feel guilty that i was the cause for him to develop this problem.
Can you please answer me through e-mail if mastrubating 5-6 times a day in 3 years period would delelop this kind of a problem?
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Answer:
by Blair Glaser: (11/15/2005)
From my perspective, it is not masturbating frequently that is to blame. There is no clinical evidence to support this. Nor are you to blame. You should be very clear about this. You and your partner made the choices you did together.
I have some questions: What was going on with him around the time he started losing his ability to get an erection? What was going on in the relationship?
Your e-mail was a little vague. Did the problem begin when you stopped having phone sex and having more sex in person, or are you still long distance?
What might be happening with your partner is a response to habit. When one gets into the habit of having sex in a certain way, it can be challenging to engage in other ways of having sex. Many men have impotence that develops as a result of performance anxiety. Perhaps when you and he are face to face, some of this anxiety (which he is able to avoid when you are on the phone) surfaces. This, combined with the habits he developed in touching himself while on the phone, may be a part of the problem.
You may want to recommend that either he gets treatment about this, or that the both of you seek out a sexual therapy together. And remember, these things happen and it is no one's fault. Sometimes, with the proper help, they can deepen the love within a relationship.Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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