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Question:
Hi, my girlfriend are both 22 yrs old and have decided not to have sexual intercourse, but we are active in other sexual activity (outercourse such as mutual masturbation and oral sex). We are worried about the risks of pregnancy due to outercourse activity. For example, if I have an orgasm, I make sure to ejaculate into a paper towel and clean up before putting my hands close to her genitals. How thoroughly must I clean my hands if I get some semen on them? Is it necessary to wash with soap/water? If I put my fingers into her vagina after merely wiping them clean with a paper towel, is it necessary to worry about risks of pregnancy? I've read in your responses that risk of pregnancy is small without intercourse, but how small is "small"?? My girlfriend is a couple days late on her period, although she is very irregular (recently, she went over two months without menstruating!!). We are both big worrywarts, and we are wondering how long we should wait before considering a pregnancy test.
On a related note, like i said, my girlfriend once went for over 2 (almost 3) months without her period. She was not sick or very stressed during this time. She is historically very irregular, but this seemed ridiculous. Should she see a doctor about this? Could it be an indication of some sort of problem?
Sorry I snuck two questions in here...Thanks very much for your reply.
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Answer:
by Scott Gross: (06/16/2005)
Hi and thanks for your question(s). I'm more than happy to address both of your questions in one answer so don't worry about "sneaking" them in! First, I think it's great that you're researching the other questions on this site. There's a lot of good information to be had here. You're right, the risk or pregnancy is "small" if semen is not being ejaculated into the vagina. We say "small" because it means that there is still a possibility of pregnancy if you get semen on your hands, wipe it off, and then put your fingers into your partner's vagina. It's a much lower risk, but still a risk. While you may have wiped all the semen off, it is still possible that some of those microscopic sperm could still be present. Wiping your hands off is a great way to *lower* your risk, but to elminate that risk you should wash your hands with soap and water. The soap will kill all the sperm on your hands without a doubt, and then you can go back to doing all those fun things together. It's really great that the two of you are being so careful about managing your risks while enjoying each other's bodies at the same time.
As for your second question, there are a large number of women (usually young women) who have irregular menstrual cycles. Often times a woman's cycles will regulate themselves over the course of a few years to the point where she is mostly regular. Other women simply have very odd and irregular schedules. Is your girlfriend athletic? Large amounts of exercise can throw a woman's period off, and in extreme cases stop it altogether (that's why female gymnasts and ice skaters often have underdeveloped breasts because they are not menstruating and do not experience their normal hormone flow). I doubt it is an indicator of a serious issue, but she might want to speak to a physician or a gynecologist about it. They can prescribe birth control pills to help regulate her cycle which is a very common practice.
Finally, you said you were both worrywarts. Unfortunately worrying about being pregnant usually just causes a woman's period to be later than it would be (there's that stress factor). From what you've told me, the two of you are being very safe and your concerns are a good thing. Keep it up and I'm sure you'll be fine.
If you have other questions please feel free to ask them. Best of luck to you,
Scott GrossReviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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