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Question:
My question deals with sexual excitement and maintaining an erection. I'm concerned that I have a lower sex drive than normal. I have trouble maintaining a high level of excitement after about 10 minutes of sexual activity. Once the initial sexual excitement passes, I generally lose rigidity in my erection and then lose the erection completely. It often will come back around, but the embarrassment (especially with a new partner) causes me to end the session. I have a new partner that I care for dearly and am very attracted to. Our relationship began on, and is still based on and emotional level. I don't understand why I would have any difficulty making love to her. I reach a point where I feel I've "had enough" even though I've not reached orgasm yet. This can occur before or even during intercourse.
Very significant distress. I'm recently divorced and concerned about my sexual future.
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Answer:
by Robert Birch: (05/15/2004)
I would suggest that you consult a urologist about the difficulty you have been having. Before doing so, think careful about what has been happening so you can give him the right information. Do you really lose the desire to continue making love, or do you just lose your erection. It is possible to have desire and no erection, just as it is possible to have an erection but no desire. I suspect it is a problem with erections... not desire. Anxiety can certainly cause the loss of an erection, but check it out medically first. You might certainly be a candidate for Viagra if you would want to go that route. But if it looks more like a problem of anxiety, you should find a qualified Sex Therapist to talk with.
Good luck.
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.
Sexologist
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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