Answer:
by Megan Andelloux: (03/12/2005)
Ok Sweetie-relax, big breathe in's. It may seem scarry, but we'll talk you through it.
First, you need to buy some lubrication-sex lube, buy it online, at cvs (astroglide or ky liquid) NOT THE WARMING STUFF! Lubrication makes everything slide in better and easier, intensifies feelings and is great for giving genital massages which make people more randy to have more stuff done to their genitals! Everyone wins!
2. You should try penetrating yourself with a toy if you can in your vagina. Get your vagina ready for him. No, you're not stretching yourself out, just getting things ready for next time and in the process it is making you less nervous.
3. He needs to spend more time playing with your genitals, eating you out, stroking your genitals. You need to get warmed up as that makes a happier, non bleeding vagina. You too can touch yourself as he is in you, it gets your body going even more and you're more likely to orgasm.
5. Not all women bleed when they "loose their virginity". Most women break the hymen "cherry" under the age of 10 through gymnastics, horseback riding, diving, etc. Some remnants of the hymen may be left over and that is what caused the blood to occur. Virginity is a state of mind- one can lose it through:
oral to oral
penis to vaginal
dildo to vaginal/anus
oral to genitals
fingers to vagina;
fingers to anal
There is no way of knowing if you lost your virginity or how you lost it.
But keep these things in mind.
1. Go slow
2. Use LUBE
3. Give him direction
4. Stop if it hurts
5. If you bleed again, go see a doctor
6. Don't allow him to enter into you. Sit on him, do doggy style and back on up into him, try spooning position...these all allow you to control when he goes into your body, instead of you waiting for him to penetrate you. It makes the person who is being penetrated more comfy.
Hope this was helpful!
Megan Andelloux
Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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