Answer:
by Annette Owens: (12/23/2004)
My very first advice is for you to see a health practitioner and have a gynecological exam. Ask your general practioner for a referal and if you feel comfortable you can ask friends whether they can recommend someone. Most health practitioners will take time to let you get comfortable with having a pelvic exam. You can discuss birth control methods and ask the health practitioner to answer some of your questions. It is a good idea to have a regular PAP-smear.
I also recommend that you take a mirror and look at your genitals. Find a place and time where you are relaxed and not disturbed by anyone. You seem quite tense about having intercourse. Try to get familiar with your own anatomy first. Use your fingers to gently spread your vaginal opening apart. It will not hurt. Take your time to get comfortable - don't let your boyfriend rush you into having intercourse. Only take the next step, when YOU are ready.
Yes, your hymen will most likely tear during intercourse. But you can stretch it and perhaps even break it yourself ahead of time.
A good book is "Womens' Sexualities" by Dr. Carol Rinklieb Ellison. She has a chapter on "The First Time" where women of different ages and generations reflect on their first intercourse experience.
Good luck with everything!
Dr. Annette Owens Reviewed by: Scott Gross M. Ed.
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