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Question:
I am a survivor of molestation and am trying to heal
from it. I have been aware of the abuse for several
years now and want to do some healing. I am still in
contact with the abuser and feel very uncomfortable
around him, but have nervous and not wanted to
create waves in everyone's life, although it has really
been a sore spot in my own life as it has hindered on
my own development.
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Answer:
by Wendy Maltz: ()
Get help for yourself and don't have contact with a
past abuser unless you feel prepared for it. No one in
your family has a right to expect you to maintain
contact with another family member who molested
you. To recover you need to feel safe. This means
having control over if, when and how much contact
you have with the perpetrator. You are not to blame
for the present situation. Any discomfort family
members experience now is the direct result of what
the perpetrator did by crossing the line in the past. I
suggest that you and other members of your family
become more educated about sexual abuse, it's
repercussions, and how to heal. Ellen Bass and Laura
Davis's book, The Courage to Heal, provides a chapter
on how family members can support the healing
process.Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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