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Question:
My wife and I have been married 23 years.In the past 4 years I always initiate sex. Nowadays, I manually bring her to orgasm and she always returns the favor. She says that she's available any time. But, I would like her to come on to me once in a while. It's nice to be "desired". How can I change her without putting pressure on her?

Answer:
by Scott Gross:
(08/29/2005)
Hi and thanks for your question. The best thing you can do is tell her how you feel. Ask her to initiate sex once in a while. Tell her it would make you feel sexy and wanted. It sounds as though you both have fallen into a routine with how you initiate and possibly how you have sex. This is pretty normal for long term couples, but can also be distressing. You're not pressuring her if you just tell her how you feel and ask her to initiate once in a while. Remember that the best person to talk to about relationship problems is the other person in the relationship. Best of luck to you. I hope everything works out. Take care, Scott Gross

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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