Since intercourse is painful for you it would be helpful to find ways to make it less so. Even then it doesn't mean that the desire would go up, but having painful intercourse is not good for you or your relationship.

YOu mentioned that it is painful so determining the cause of the pain may be the first step. Often, when there is lack of desire, there is also little or no lubrication which makes dry intercourse very painful. If you could find a water-based lubricant that you could use during intercourse, applying liberally to yourself and your partner's penis it may make that part of intercourse less painful.

As for the other - the desire - having intercourse once a day may be plenty, and having a discussion with your husband about enjoying that one time more, might take the pressure off to have to perform in an act that creates pain for you, more.

Since I am not a sex therapist, I would suggest that you also ask this question to other experts on the web site. I wanted to give you some answers but I think there are others that may be able to give you more suggestions.

Finding a compromise that makes both you and your husband feel that it is acceptable may be the best bet. Then talking to a therapist on the web site about other suggestions would be the next step.

Thanks for writing. I am sorry I couldn't be more helpful, but this is not my area of expertise.

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team