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Question:
My son is almost out of autism.
he was in local newspapers for our success of the treatment.
but nowadays he is in his puberty and very interrested about his sexual organs and girls and want to be touched and want to touch to females.
?'m afraid he'd be pushed out of school because he proposes all the time.
do please help me and recommend me books
He is verbal.
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Answer:
by Melissa BEE: ()
Hello, Thank you for your question.
Firstly may I say that while your child's autism may be under control, there is no cure. It is a life-long condition. Many treatments can help alleviate physical problems, allergies, food sensitivities, leaky-gut and nervous system functioning (and ability to cope) but there is no magic cure for autism. You made mention in your notes, your son has ADHD, and much of the treatment for this is by drugs. My own son (who had ADD) was successfully treated with Ritalin for 18 months - which helped enormously with his anxiety and his inability to sit still or pay attention. But it did not, and cannot cure his autism.
Having said that, puberty in an autistic adolescent can be a terribly difficult time, so I understand your concerns. Behaviour and social responses that occur naturally, do not always happen in the autistic child, which can result in quite a lot of problems when the child starts developing into an adult with sexual wants, needs, powerful impulses and urges that they have no idea how to interpret, let alone control.
The best way to cope, I believe is in a stepped process. In education, teaching coping strategies and rewarding desired behaviour - rather than punishing inappropriate behaviour.
1. Education:
As his parents, it will be partly your role to teach him the correct socially acceptable sexual behaviour for your country. I am not familiar with the social norms in Turkey, but imagine they different markedly from those in Australia. As his father, role modeling a lot of behaviour will help him. It will help him understand how to treat a member of the opposite gender, and what is expected from him. You may have to physically model some things for him - such as showing him pictures of his developing body and so on. It has been clearly demonstrated that children who are prepared for the physical and emotional changes of puberty and mood swings can cope much better when these things are expected and anticipated by them. You may need to reinforce expectations.
2. Public & Private:
As a part of education, he needs to be clear about - Allowed touching, Not-Allowed touching, or in other words PUBLIC and PRIVATE. Children will masturbate, and he needs to understand this is only a private activity for in his room or the bathroom - in private places. Public touching - a hug or kiss - while it is OK, he also needs to respect your culture, and also may need to learn to ask 'May I give you a hug' it can be quite daunting to be bear tackled by an autistic youth who simply wants to just say hello! While I'm not trying to encourage you to dampen his enthusiasm at all, he needs to know about manners, asking and the appropriateness.
3. Coping:
Sexual frustration in disabled boys can result in a lot of pent up frustration and aggression. I have found that by keeping boys of this age busy, and physically active, it can circumvent anger and aggression. Though boys with a tendency to violence may need more supervision and control. Some form of sports, running or swimming can also help burn up that excess physical stamina.
4. If he is keen on expressing himself, point him towards a computer or word processor or typewriter. Generally speaking autistics love to write and draw (though there are always exceptions). I know myself and all my children, and many thousands of others online find it much easier to express ourselves in writing. This may dampen his ardour a little.
Lastly, at this age, peer pressure and the desire to be liked, popular and accepted is incredibly strong. You can only educate him, and then hold his hand. He has to learn about life, you can't do it for him. Just be there with a hug and the box of band-aids.
Best wishes,
Melissa BEEReviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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