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Question:
I am an incomplete C5-6 quad, 26, male, injured nine
years. I have no problem getting or maintaining an erection,
with little or no stimulation, but the problem is that
during intercourse or masturbation if I go too fast or rub
the head of my penis, my stomach begins to spasm and my
penis shrinks. Also, my ejaculations take too long, but when
I stimulate the base above the testes I get quicker results.
Is there a toy that stimulates just this area?
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Answer:
by Mitchell Tepper: (05/16/2004)
Losing your erection as a result of direct stimulation of
the head of the penis is not unusual in men with spinal cord
injury. In your case, I wonder if this is the result of
retrograde ejaculation--ejaculation that goes backward into
the bladder instead of outward through the urethra. If this
is the case, you may see a sign of ejaculate in your urine
afterwards. If retrograde ejaculation is not the cause, I
can only speculate that there is an overload of stimulation
to the nerve endings in the head of the penis and that the
injured spinal cord interferes with processing that
information.
When the focus is on ejaculation or orgasm, the sexual
experience is likely to be goal-oriented. Goal orientation
sounds more like work to me than fun. When sex is
goal-oriented, the mind starts to wander away from the
erotic and toward distracting thoughts, increasing performance
anxiety. Focusing on the process and not the outcome will
enhance affirming sexual experiences whether by yourself or
with a partner.
Yes, there are toys that may enhance your pleasure. Since
you are online, you can go to a Web site like goodvibes.com
and look through the toys for men. There are sleeves, pumps,
tubes and other devices to choose from. See, for example,
the Jelly Vibro Tube that has both ends open so you can
position the sleeve to provide maximum stimulation exactly
where you want it.
Slow down, savor the sensations and let sexual energy grow.
Try positions that increase the amount of full-body contact.
Chances are you and your partner will appreciate it
immensely if you take the time to get more physically and
emotionally connected.
--Mitch TepperReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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