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Question:
I am a C 5-7 quad. Before my injury, my boyfriend frequently performed oral sex on me, which I enjoyed. Since my
injury, we have not had oral sex because I am afraid of incontinence and am not sure how I will respond--sexually,
spasticity, leakage, you name it. Any suggestions?
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Answer:
by Mitchell Tepper: (05/16/2004)
The best functional advice for incontinence: What doesn't go in doesn't come out. Monitor what you drink before sexual
activity. If you drink alcohol, stick to low-volume beverages in limited quantities. Catheterize or otherwise void your bladder
ahead of time. If you are not doing so already, you might consider taking an anticholinergic drug. Definitely consult with your
urologist. These suggestions may inhibit spontaneity, but it's a world of pluses and minuses!
The only way to know how you will respond sexually and otherwise is to give it a try. Let your partner know you don't know
what to expect but you would really like to find out. If you've lost any sensation, your initial response may be different from
what you remember, but take note that even women with loss of all sensation in their genitals have experienced great
pleasure--and sometimes orgasm--from direct stimulation. Give yourself more time for pleasure to build, and open yourself to
the experience. If you enjoyed oral sex before, you probably will again.
--Lizzi McNeff, Mitch TepperReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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