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Question:
My 26 year old developmentally disabled son has exhibited inappropriate behavior towards females in different settings. One recent episode caused him to be removed from a Special Oplympic activity(in a foreign country) and the other to be sent home from a summer camp. Each episode involves him speaking inappropriately to the female. So far, he has not exhibited any physical behavior toward the female, but this is a definite concern. These episodes had been increasing despite his father and I speaking with him at length, his care-provider trying behavior modification, and his physchiatrist speaking with him at lenth. I feel that my son has a very active sex drive and am very, very concerned that this may lead to further, serious trouble. He is currently taking Zoloft for mild depression. I have also spoken with his M.D. a number of times about this problem. We have ruled out medicating him so far. I don't even know if there is a medication. I do not like the idea of doing this, since it is his behavior that needs changing. But at this point, I'm doubtful that any intervention will help. Please recommend some course of action that I might take. Thank you.
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Answer:
by Susan Ludwig: (01/05/2006)
Thank you for writing to Sexualhealth.com with your concerns. I appreciate that your son’s behaviour is very upsetting to you – and is probably not helping him to advance towards any social/sexual goals he might have for himself!
My recommendation is that he needs to be in a group of peers in which he can learn about appropriate social behaviour. You have already seen that talking to him as a parent is unsuccessful (do you remember thinking your parents didn’t know much about social issues?).
Behaviour modification can be very helpful in some circumstances. Unfortunately, it has not been helpful to your son, and has probably only resulted in his frustration. Finally, having a psychiatrist talk to him about his “problem” has not been shown to be successful.
A group of peers who meet with a facilitator (or two), however, can be a powerful tool for teaching social skills and interaction. Lessons can be fun, interactive and informative. Participants can learn to be respectful of one another, to appreciate their own feelings as well as the feelings of others, to identify the difference between “public, private, and be careful,” to identify characteristics of a “good” relationship and can learn about sexuality and sexual responsibility.
Please talk to your son’s care provider and find out if this type of group is meeting in your area. If it is not, see if the agency that provides care would consider starting this type of group. My years of experience in this type of teaching have shown that this type of teaching and learning is powerful, fun and can be very successful in helping people learn to develop appropriate interpersonal relationships.
Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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