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Question:
I am a teaching assistant for a 14 year old boy with autism. I've worked with him for 6 years. I've watched him loose teeth, learn to comb his hair, and go nuts when he sees a pretty girl! Now he is touching these girls (usually on the arm or shoulder) when he walks by them in the halls at school. He also wants to hug them. This is making the girls real uncomfortable. I know he is starting to mature and is trying to communicate w/ kids his own age....but I am not too sure on how to handle this. Can you guide me in a direction?
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Answer:
by Melissa BEE: (05/17/2004)
Have you not guided him in how to behave in other ways? You will have to guide him here. Hugging on initial greeting is OK, you can't just make him stop. It is not wrong to hug people. However it is disconcerting to rush up to someone and almost tackle them in a full on hug in the hallway when you don't really expect it. You will have to teach him to ask first before hugging anyone. That way people can be prepared for the hug, and can decline if they choose.
My son has a habit of coming up and almost latching on to my face. He is 12 years of age. I hate it, because he just runs up and does it and doesn't know when to stop. I'm trying to teach him to kiss my cheek lightly and then stop. And to ask before hugging.
You've been through puberty and know what to do, why should it be different to for him? He has the same drives. But what came automatically for you, will have to be shown to him. You will just have to help teach him the right ways.
Use role-play and involve other people - so he can see and do, and rehearse ideal actions and ideal responses. Downes Syndrome and Autistic people VERY affectionate. Don't kill his affection, just help him to channel it appropriately.
If you are out of your depth, you may need to enlist the help of a local psychologist or autistic specialist.
Good Luck!
Melissa BEE
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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