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Question:
I am a gay male and am only recently diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. I thought being gay was tough. (I "came out" late; at 29). Asperger Syndrome is another situation where I have "known I was different, but couldn't put my finger on why". Now that I can put a name to it there is some relief and I can understand and more importantly, explain some of my behaviors to my partner of 3 years. Up to this point, AS has taken a huge toll on our relationship. I need internet resources to share with my partner. Most of the sites deal with autism in children, and they have been helpful with the diagnosis, but what about adults and their partners who are dealing with Aspergers. How common or uncommon is AS in gays? Any suggestions?

Answer:
by Melissa BEE:
(06/19/2004)
I can relate to the double 'coming out' that you have to deal with. Like accepting a fatal diagnosis both coming to terms with a disability (AS) and a sexuality deemed unnatural by the clergy and the bulk of society is a double-whammy that certainly isn't easy to deal with. You may visit several stages many times over. Depression, anger etc... I get the impression that you are happy with your sexuality, but are still grappling with the understanding of Aspergers and how it relates to you and to all your intimate and non intimate personal relationships. Please correct me if I'm wrong. It is difficult finding adult related material (re autism) online. On the updated links below, you will find a link to adults articles that may help with understanding how some adults cope with their autism. There is also a website there of a gay male with ASD and he is very frank and open. Additionally there is a lovely friendly little discussion group on Yahoo for people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender who are also on the spectrum. Theres lots more AS related lists on the sites below, but there is only the ONE space for those with ASD and who are GLBT. So I hope you may find that helpful. Best Wishes
Melissa BEE

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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