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Question:
I am an older virgin who is bipolar, and may have autism/aspergers. Wanting to know, when I have gotten close to a woman I am attracted to, I dissociate, or blackout. I am out of the present moment; out of my body. Also, when I described a sexual situation (oral sex with a woman) to a counselor, I had a seizure, which led me to taking lithium and now tegretol (an antiseizure medication). Any comments and any ideas on how I can be present in these situations and not blackout? Thanks a million

Answer:
by Melissa BEE: (03/14/2006)
Sorry for the delay in answering your question. Due to technical difficulties I have not been online and was unaware there were questions waiting. This sounds like a complicated problem. Most likley two different things are happening. First, there's probably a nervous system overstimulation (thus the siezures and blackouts) and a circulatory & nervous system over-response brought on by fear. The key to winning in this situation is tiny little steps and recognizing the triggers to a blackout. Hopefully the blackouts have been brought under control by now, but you can stay aware of the triggers and learn to recognize if one is coming on, and thus pull back from the situation - until your body can cope, you may be able to defeat the problem. Desensitizing by taking small steps can eventually get you to your goal, rather than taking the risk and losing control. Your doctor may also be able to make some suggestions. Make sure you let him/her know. Your medication could be partially to blame. Lithium is a very good drug for bipolar disorder, and generally stable, but you have to be careful what is taken with it. Not all anti-epileptic medication is compatible with Lithium in all people. So if this is still causing you concern, have a word with him/her about it as soon as you can. Please feel free to get back in touch if this is not helping you. Cheers, Melissa BEE

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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