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Question:
Over the course of a year I have been having a monogomous sexual relationship
with my boyfriend. On a very rare occasion (twice), during intercourse, I have
experienced terrible cramping and excessive pressure right below my belly
button and in my ovaries, because my boyfriend's penis pokes something deep
up inside me. The pain increased over the next 20 minutes to the point where
I couldn't breath and I felt as though I were to vomit. My anus got tight and
my vagina as well. If I were to laugh, cough, sneeze or push as though I
wanted to make a bowel movement, I would be in excrutiating pain. Is it possible
that his penis is hitting an organ or my intestines or something I am unaware of?
The pain last for about 40 minutes total. The feelings I experience are only when
he pokes something in me during intercourse. I am scheduling a obgyn appointment
this week, but I would like a second opinion. Thank you for your time!!
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Answer:
by Susan Ludwig: (05/27/2004)
Dear L.,
Thank you for writing to sexualhealth.com with your question. I hope that you get some reassurance in knowing that what you describe is not uncommon for women. And it sounds like you are doing all the right things -- gathering information and going for a physical assessment of your discomfort!
My first question to you is rhetorical. I wonder what would make you continue sexual activity for 20 minutes when it is so painful!! I am very concerned about this! An important part of an intimate relationship is being able to communicate our needs. And it would seem that knowing you can stop something that hurts so much would be very important! My second rhetorical question is that I wonder if you always have this much discomfort or if this is something that only happens on occasion.
I would like to try to help you understand a little of the anatomy involved in sexual intercourse -- and this might help you understand what you are describing in your question. When a woman starts to become aroused, she will experience vaginal lubrication along with her more rapid breathing, flushed face, dilated pupils and sweat. These are very early signs of arousal -- and are not signs that she is ready to receive her partner's penis into her vagina.
After more sex play, the woman starts to undergo some changes in her pelvic anatomy. Her uterus normally lies more or less perpendicular to her vagina when she is at rest. But as she becomes more aroused, a ligament that is attached to hear cervix will draw her cervix upwards -- making her uterus lie more parallel to her vagina. In addition, the inside third of her vagina "balloons" out -- making her vagina roughly triple in length -- and swinging her cervix well out of the place where it could be accidentally "bumped."
If a woman accepts her partner's penis before this time in her arousal, she will experience a very uncomfortable sensation of "bumping." It is not uncommon for her to feel nausea and pain if this were to happen. Most internal organs in a woman's lower pelvis are not terribly sensitive to being handled -- but her ovaries (which are located deep within the bony structure of her pelvic basin) have similar nerve supply as does a man's testicles. A woman is lucky that her ovaries are so well protected -- and will feel acute pain if she has sex in a position that leaves her ovaries vulnerable to being hit or jarred.
I sincerely hope that your visit to the gynecologist reassures you that you are healthy. If you have been in this relationship for a year, I hope that you have your PAP smear and that your doctor tests you for sexually transmitted disease.
And I hope that you will be able to talk to your boyfriend about what you need to be better prepared for accepting his penis. He needs to understand that while vaginal lubrication is a start, that you need more time to really be ready to welcome him. In addition, you need to let him know the minute something starts to feel painful for you -- and you both can find ways of making sure the pain stops! Please don't endure discomfort any more. Promise yourself that sexual pleasure is all that you will ever receive during your time of intimacy!
Thank you again for your question. I hope you get the answers you are looking for!
Sincerely,
Susan LudwigReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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