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Question:
I actually have two questions: 1. My husband goes through bouts of not being able to maintain an erection while we are having sex. This has occurred often and on for the last 16 years(he is now 39). I am not sure of what the cause of this would be. He is not on any medication, and is physically in good health(he has been checked by our doctor). Can you tell me why this happens? 2. He also has recently revealed to me he likes to cross-dress, which I have no problem with. But I am wondering if there is some connection here with the above problem. Can you help?

Answer:
by Robert Birch: ()
There is no way, without a thorough evaluation, it know the cause of you husband's unreliable erections. There is no way, for example, to know if he had masturbated just prior to having sex with you and it would sure help to find out what he is thinking just before losing his erection. His cross-dressing in and of itself might not be the cause, but his thoughts about it (guilt?) might be. I would suggest that the two of you consult a qualified sex therapist. You will find that a sex therapist will not shame your husband about his cross-dressing, but would want to explore how you fit into your husband's concepts of his sexuality. The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists can furnish the names of qualified professionals in your geographic area. Editors note: The two issues you mention are very likely connected to one another. For most people whose erotic template includes cross-dressing, it is a very important facet of their eroticism. If your husband has been blocking this primary erotic interest for all of these years, he is likely to experience difficulties with erection at some point. Usually, it is just a matter of time until that occurs. I suggest that you consider incorporating the crossdressing into the sexual experiences you are having with your husband. It is likely that the erection problems will quickly fade. Patricia Fawver, Ph.D., editor

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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