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Question:
I need your advice, can you help me and give your advice about sex, because my wife is not satisfy with me. I am married, 1 year before. anybody can help me, where should I get sex specialist? she want I fuck her for alteast 2 to 3 minutes everytime. But I cannot fuck her for 2-3 minues, becuase before I fucking her my sperm is leak. That is the reason. I try everything, that time I thinking other things, but my sperm is leak, My wife is not satisfy with me. She want to leave me and divorce. But I dont want to leave her and diveroce her. Plese write me how to fuck her atleast 3 minues everytime. Please help me in this regard. I am waiting for your email reply soon. Regards.

Answer:
by Susan Ludwig:
(05/23/2004)
Dear M., Thank you for writing about this very difficult question. I have spoken to several men in clinic about this situation you describe, and would like to offer you the information that I have shared with them. First, I hope that you know that what you describe is a very common thing! That doesn't mean that it is not important to you -- it just means that you are not alone with what you describe. There are two things that I suggest to men who tell me about what you have written about. The first is that they need to learn what will give their wives the sexual pleasure and release (called orgasm) that they want. The only way to learn to do that is for their wives to teach them! Husbands need to find the spot that is just behind where their wive's labia separate called her clitoris. A woman is usually able to reach very orgasm very quickly by touching this very sensitive part of her body. Ask your wife to show you how to do this -- and if she has never learned to do this for herself, you can learn together. If she does not accept you into her body until just before her orgasm, it is often possible for her to get the sexual satisfaction she is wanting from you. If, after she accepts you into her body, you are unable to contain your orgasm, you can resume caressing her clitoris and give her the pleasure she is looking for. Second, many men find that once they have reached orgasm that they are better able to delay their next orgasm. I suggest to young men that they give themselves sexual release before they start lovemaking with their partner. That way, things will slow down the second time. The most important thing to do, however, is to talk about all of this with your wife! You need to let her teach you to give her pleasure -- and you will learn that her pleasure is not measured by minutes on the clock, but rather by the time that you take to learn about her body and what will give her pleasure. I suspect that your wife's words have deeply hurt you -- however, I am glad that she has the courage to tell you that she wants something more. I hope that if you are able to talk about this that you will find that your relationship is more close and intimate than it has been until now! Please do not heistate to write again -- and I wish both of you all the very best as you learn to give each other sexual pleasure and intimacy! Sincerely, Susan Ludwig

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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