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Question:
I've noticed that I can bring myself to an orgasim pretty quickly during masturbation but am unable to perform with my partner. I know it's in my head and after doing some reading I think I have a performance anxiety. I've always categorized myself as a 'bad test taker' so it's no surprise if this is my problem. I want to overcome this and I'm wondering if there is a way to with just myself and my partner instead of seeking a professional?

Answer:
by Robert Birch:
(05/21/2004)
Performance anxiety is certainly a problem for a lot of men, and you no doubt have a touch of it, but I have never been convinced that delayed or inhibited ejaculations are "all in a man's head." Performance anxiety can dramatically disrupt the process of getting an erection, but I think once firm, the erotic stimulation should carry even a worried man on to his orgasm. I have always recommended a couple practical things to try before seeking professional help. First, stop masturbating! You need to allow your sexual energy to build. Also, with the masturbation, you might have conditioned yourself to respond to the hard rapid stimulation typically of men "jacking off," and this is quite different than the softer stimulation of vaginal intercourse. The second suggestion is to experiment with different positions. Find the one that gives you maximum stimulation. I remind inhibited ejaculators to be sure to test out their performance in the rear entry ("doggie style) position. Finally, if you are taking any medications, ask your doctor or a pharmacist about sexual side-effects.

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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