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Question:
You've probably been asked this question a ba-zillion times, but I need to know something about orgasms. I've just recently become sexual active and when I come to orgasm all the muscles tense up around my lower abdomen and then nothing else happens. I thought there was some release of tension or a sense of muscle relaxation? Can I be inhibiting my own orgasm? Afterwards my muscles all over my body feel even more tense. Is there any advice you can give me? Is this normal? Do you recommend I seek prof. help? You're welcome to post this as long as I'm kept
confidential. Thank you.
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Answer:
by Annette Owens: (05/19/2004)
Thank you for contacting www.SexualHealth.com with your concern. For your information, all questions and answers are automatically posted, but we never reveal any identifying information.
I do not think that you need to worry or need to seek professional help at this time. Orgasms can feel very different from time to time, with respect to intensity and how long they last. You have recently started to become sexually active and it may simply be that you are a little tense. It often takes a while to become comfortable and to begin enjoying sex. Sex is not just a physical stimulation of the genitals, but the mind is playing a very important role. The more comfortable you are with your partner and yourself, the better will your sexual experience often be. This usually takes time in any relationship. Be patient, and allow yourself the time to let your relationship develop. Allow yourself much time just to kiss and explore each other without focusing so much on intercourse.
It might also be a good idea to explore you own body when you are by yourself (masturbate). Be as relaxed as possible and just explore different touches of your genitals, not with the goal of having an orgasm but simply to learn how different touches may feel. It may be a good idea to use lubricant for this. You may reach orgasms this way or you may not. Either way is fine, and it never hurts to get to know your own body a little better.
Also be sure that you feel comfortable with the birth control you are using. Condoms are not 100% safe and there is a small chance of becoming pregnant despite the use of condoms. This can add to the tension. So be sure to discuss appropriate birth control methods with your partner, as for example the use of birth control pills in addition to condoms.
Sincerely,
Annette Owens, MD PhDReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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